I want to welcome you to my first blog post to bring hope and a deeply healing perspective for partners of sex addicts. If you have arrived at this blog, you’re likely disoriented, furious and in indescribable pain, searching for any kind of relief. Searching for something or someone to help you make sense of all that you’re experiencing. If you are like I was, I didn’t know anyone I could talk to about such things. I was flabbergasted and embarrassed.
The shame and secrecy that still surround the subject of sex addiction paralyzed me. It did not occur to me that anyone else might have gone through the same thing. Unfortunately, the shame and secrecy around this topic continues to persist.
I don’t want you to go through what I did. You can turn to me. I can help you. I have been there. Since it is only two-and-a-half years ago that I found about this, I am still recovering myself.
You won’t always feel the way you feel today, suffering from shame and betrayal. You will laugh and love and trust again, and much sooner than you think.
I offer a positive, health-based approach that will help you start feeling better today. We begin by seeing how our own thoughts contribute to our pain. This is not to diminish the pain that brought you here. It is very real! But by learning about the connection between our thoughts and feelings we can lessen the intensity of this experience.
Fortunately we already possess deep inside us the capacity to recover. There is no learning curve or strategy involved. We are simply born with the innate mental and spiritual health we need to rebuild and heal our lives and relationships. This spiritual strength and nurturance is available to us at any time by just remembering it is there! Quiet our thoughts. Go within to listen if even for one moment while walking down the street. We have the resiliency to transcend even this magnitude of betrayal.
In my life experience there’s been nothing comparable to the shock and insanity of finding out that the partner I slept next to, loved and trusted for nearly 28 years was actually a stranger whose daily activities traversed the ugliest of worlds and the most unspeakable of activities.
Are you still ricocheting from the shock of discovering your partner’s secrets? Now what? Well, what if we have somewhere else to look other than dredging up the past to explain our partner’s betrayals? What if the answers and insights needed to soothe ourselves actually reside within each of us? They do.
What IF our racing thoughts and grief are coming from inside of us and not from the person we are blaming and focusing on right now as the cause of our pain?
I want to leave you with these questions to ponder. I will be writing ongoing blog posts to share how the principles of Mind, Thought and Consciousness can deepen our understanding of ourselves so that we can share peace and contentment with our loved ones.